So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
My five year old asked me yesterday what is inside our bodies. "A ghost?" And I didn't necessarily have a definitive answer for him ... One that he'd understand, and that is "truth."
>>> small steps, in any direction, lead to new understanding. That new understanding is the plan ... To see new things, experience new things, breathe new air.
Life is perfect, you see. But perfection is not what we imagine it to be. It is not every experience a “good” experience. It is not everyone always happy. Perfection is not all rainbows, all sunshine, all perfectly ripe fruit, always clean, always cheerful. Perfection is WHOLENESS. It is all things working in unison. It is all parts, all pieces, all aspects of life working together in a balanced and complete way. Perfection is a FULNESS of life. Without the rain, there aren’t rainbows. Without green bananas sometimes, we can’t appreciate the perfectly deliciously sweet ripe ones. We need these experiences to understand that ALL of life is precious. And so, at this time of year, I look around and appreciate it all.
I have found the important thing for me to remember is that I AM aware of ALL of this. And that awareness lessens the sting. It takes away some of the hardness and allows me to step back and see this situation for what it is … a mental disorder that he cannot help he has. He isn't doing this on purpose. He isn't TRYING to pitch a fit each morning to make the day start crappy. He is held hostage by this as much as I feel like I am.
And in the midst of all that is going on, there is this beautiful lovely stillness that I can intentionally choose to step into. And it creates a sense of peace ...
Here's what I've learned through it though: What's MOST important, is to truly see MYSELF.
I don't always welcome the triggering circumstances, when they present themselves, but I am beginning to see that they DO provide opportunities if I look.
Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Look within and you will see.
She is me! That's the most awesome part about this WHOLE thing! I see that the divine within me, IS me. It's not outside of me. It's not apart from me. It's not something I must work at. It is the truest expression of my CORE being and it is here today, right now.
Every experience in life allows me to see more clearly, by showing me what is or isn't me.
Nothing outside of me is choosing for me ... every minute of every day I am the one with ALL the power.