For a few minutes I actually allowed that stupid word to make me feel less than, unimportant, not worthy, and invisible. Again.
So, this day, I offer you this simple Advent to read, to ponder, and maybe to make you curious about your own traditions, life, experiences, and beliefs.
I don't always welcome the triggering circumstances, when they present themselves, but I am beginning to see that they DO provide opportunities if I look.
Today was an opportunity. And the tears were there to remind that I'm human and life is about feeling and BEING human. There is unity and harmony in owning that. I am HERE to experience human being-ness.
My greatest most important job then, as a parent, as a human, is to help my children and others see how they are responsible for their world and their thoughts and then to teach them the practical ways they can learn to live a healthier happier life.
And so when things arise that are not planned, I look at them and maybe roll my eyes, maybe mutter under my breath that "isn't this just dandy" and then I face the new track head on. Because the other choice is to resist what is, and that's insanity. It is there. I can't change that it is. Might as well live with it and have peace too.
There is something in each of us that is MEANT for us. Your only job is to find it and embrace it. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Do what you LOVE. When you do, your "job" won't be a job at all, instead it will be a gift you offer the world.
What a gift to learn something like this in a moment of frustration. It opened my eyes and my heart and opened his heart as well. When we were soft and open we were BOTH teachable and connected and it felt amazing.
If you don't be the FIRST person to take care of yourself, who will do it for you? - You know when you're able to give and serve and you know when you need help or you need sleep or you're hungry or you're sad or whatever ... you know you best. Be your own protector. Be your own flame fanner. Be your own light giver. Be aware of the atmosphere within you so that when you're low you can pause and when you're bright you can move forward in inspiration.
*sigh* Ridiculous is the word that comes to mind. And unnecessary. And maddening. --- I need more yoga when I think about this. (serenity now!)
And that is the point I guess ... my heart is full. And because I know that is possible in every circumstance, I understand that yours can be too in whatever you're doing. You have the power to see your life in whatever perspective you choose.
Every moment we have a choice to drop everything and fill the needs of those around us. Sometimes we aren't able to do that, and that's ok. Those times though that we are? We should do it. We should literally drop what we had in mind, like eating breakfast and writing a blog post, and drive to the park because the kids wanted and needed it. We can look at the world around us and say to ourselves, "is there a need I am able to fill?" and then fill the need when we're able. Doing this brings a joy to life that is unmatched and not attained in any other way.