So I'm actually seeing now that motherhood has been and is an incredible gift in so many ways. The perfect gift, sometimes wrapped in really ugly paper, but lovely and amazing on the inside when you turn it around and look at it from a new angle.
It was like letting the volcano explode in a healthy way that didn't hurt anyone and once the lava (that energy) was released the inner world was reset.
Isn't it sometimes hard to accept a moment of rest? We are all so busy all of the time. I'm a mom of seven! There is ALWAYS, literally every minute of every day, something to do. And not being busy feels like a waste, or maybe a misuse of my time.
So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
My five year old asked me yesterday what is inside our bodies. "A ghost?" And I didn't necessarily have a definitive answer for him ... One that he'd understand, and that is "truth."
It is exhausting, frustrating, exasperating, chaotic humdrum. But somewhere in the humdrum is a little spark of magic or a little whisp of loveliness. And you see it occasionally hiding within and beneath and beyond. And when you look directly at it, it shimmers and shines and whispers, "And this is love."
And in the midst of all that is going on, there is this beautiful lovely stillness that I can intentionally choose to step into. And it creates a sense of peace ...
This appreciation is LIFE. It is the energy that creates the expansion that brings more of your desires and dreams and hopes to your view.
For a few minutes I actually allowed that stupid word to make me feel less than, unimportant, not worthy, and invisible. Again.
So, this day, I offer you this simple Advent to read, to ponder, and maybe to make you curious about your own traditions, life, experiences, and beliefs.
I don't always welcome the triggering circumstances, when they present themselves, but I am beginning to see that they DO provide opportunities if I look.
Today was an opportunity. And the tears were there to remind that I'm human and life is about feeling and BEING human. There is unity and harmony in owning that. I am HERE to experience human being-ness.
My greatest most important job then, as a parent, as a human, is to help my children and others see how they are responsible for their world and their thoughts and then to teach them the practical ways they can learn to live a healthier happier life.
And so when things arise that are not planned, I look at them and maybe roll my eyes, maybe mutter under my breath that "isn't this just dandy" and then I face the new track head on. Because the other choice is to resist what is, and that's insanity. It is there. I can't change that it is. Might as well live with it and have peace too.
There is something in each of us that is MEANT for us. Your only job is to find it and embrace it. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Do what you LOVE. When you do, your "job" won't be a job at all, instead it will be a gift you offer the world.
What a gift to learn something like this in a moment of frustration. It opened my eyes and my heart and opened his heart as well. When we were soft and open we were BOTH teachable and connected and it felt amazing.