This past year my husband and I have had the opportunity to open our eyes to the reality of what our relationship was, what relationships CAN be, and to begin to merge the two together.
So I'm actually seeing now that motherhood has been and is an incredible gift in so many ways. The perfect gift, sometimes wrapped in really ugly paper, but lovely and amazing on the inside when you turn it around and look at it from a new angle.
It was like letting the volcano explode in a healthy way that didn't hurt anyone and once the lava (that energy) was released the inner world was reset.
Isn't it sometimes hard to accept a moment of rest? We are all so busy all of the time. I'm a mom of seven! There is ALWAYS, literally every minute of every day, something to do. And not being busy feels like a waste, or maybe a misuse of my time.
So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
My five year old asked me yesterday what is inside our bodies. "A ghost?" And I didn't necessarily have a definitive answer for him ... One that he'd understand, and that is "truth."
I do not have a fabulously flashy life. I don't travel to exotic places. I don't have a successful career. I don't live in a perfect dream house. I DO have a fabulous life though. It is simple. It is quiet. It is peaceful. And it is perfectly lovely most of the time. (mom life is sometimes brutal of course)
It is exhausting, frustrating, exasperating, chaotic humdrum. But somewhere in the humdrum is a little spark of magic or a little whisp of loveliness. And you see it occasionally hiding within and beneath and beyond. And when you look directly at it, it shimmers and shines and whispers, "And this is love."
Life is perfect, you see. But perfection is not what we imagine it to be. It is not every experience a “good” experience. It is not everyone always happy. Perfection is not all rainbows, all sunshine, all perfectly ripe fruit, always clean, always cheerful. Perfection is WHOLENESS. It is all things working in unison. It is all parts, all pieces, all aspects of life working together in a balanced and complete way. Perfection is a FULNESS of life. Without the rain, there aren’t rainbows. Without green bananas sometimes, we can’t appreciate the perfectly deliciously sweet ripe ones. We need these experiences to understand that ALL of life is precious. And so, at this time of year, I look around and appreciate it all.
And in the midst of all that is going on, there is this beautiful lovely stillness that I can intentionally choose to step into. And it creates a sense of peace ...
This appreciation is LIFE. It is the energy that creates the expansion that brings more of your desires and dreams and hopes to your view.
For a few minutes I actually allowed that stupid word to make me feel less than, unimportant, not worthy, and invisible. Again.