I generally talk about “big” things … higher perspective, broader view, soul stuff. I generally think about those things too. Today though, my husband and I are going out of town for the weekend while my in laws watch our kids. I’m excited. I find it very replenishing to get away for a few days and to just spend time together doing nothing in particular.
As we’ve gotten the house picked up and made a schedule and done all the stuff you do to prepare for a weekend away without kids, I’ve thought a lot about how important it is to focus on your relationship, whatever relationship you find yourself in.
I believe that what you think about becomes your world. Thoughts are powerful. I think that translates to our relationships and daily life stuff too.
If I desire to be in a happy, fulfilling, joyful, EXPANDING relationship (which is the goal and all relationships true potential, right?), I can’t expect that to happen if I don’t focus on it, if I don’t take time to cultivate it, if I don’t FEED the connection. It is essential to the life of the relationship to spend time and thought and focus on giving it positive love energy.
I think about how much there is to do in life. Jobs and kids and exercising and food and housework and playing and all of the things that we fill our time with. If I spent 100% of my time, in thought and in doing, on just my job, for instance, I wouldn’t have balance. The other stuff WOULD fall away into the background and it would either go away completely because I hadn’t done anything to keep it alive, or it would just be stagnant – stagnant is NOT that happy fulfilling joyful expanding potential it could be.
If I want something in my life, I work for it, I go for it, I FEED its “life” with focus, thought, and love. I know that if it’s important to me then I had better cultivate it and make it a balanced part of my life, or I will lose it.
My relationships with my husband, my kids, my siblings, my parents or ANYONE that I love are that. ^^^ They require tending to. They need to be cultivated with love and understanding and focus! They can’t grow and develop into their true potential if I don’t care for them. And caring for them means putting them first when it’s time to do that. It means taking a weekend away without kids just to do a reset and replenish our connection. It means having a trip to the store with one of my kids alone so we can talk and connect. It means doing the things for those that I love that SHOW them I love them.
Life is busy. It can be FULL of so much stuff that we feel like we have no time to even sit and breathe. Taking dates with your spouse?! Who has time for that?! Weekend away? Psh!
MAKE TIME FOR THAT. Somehow make it work. Somehow find the time and energy and desire to focus on your relationship and FEED it.
It is LIFE for your connection and it is needed.
Even if you have no one to watch your kids … even if you can’t afford it … even if you really truly believe you don’t have time … even if …
There is ALWAYS time for the things that are important. You don’t need money or a babysitter or a whole weekend away; spend a couple hours every evening for a week with no tv, no phones, no books, just talking and connecting. You make it work if it matters, and THIS matters. It might seem like it doesn’t, but the expansion that comes through nourishing an aspect of your life like your intimate relationships, is JOY! It helps EVERY area of your life to feel that kind of expanding joy.
I spent YEARS saying that I had a baby or I was nursing or I was pregnant or we didn’t have a babysitter or we didn’t have money or we didn’t have time … excuse after excuse to NOT feed that important aspect of my life. And we were mostly fine. We made it. We lived. We were happy.
But you know what’s happened since we have started nourishing that piece of our being? We have seen growth, progression, greater connection, FLOURISHING love and joy. It has expanded our understanding of what joy and love is, not that we didn’t know before, but our understanding has GROWN to include more and be more and have more depth to it. And isn’t that the purpose for living? To grow?
I believe that there is so much available to us and we fail to see it because we’re so busy. Stop for a minute and look around and find the things that are important to you and FEED those areas of your life with LOVE. It will influence ALL areas of your life and it will expand your joy. That much I know.
So I guess, the little things you do each day end up BEING the big things after all.