So I'm actually seeing now that motherhood has been and is an incredible gift in so many ways. The perfect gift, sometimes wrapped in really ugly paper, but lovely and amazing on the inside when you turn it around and look at it from a new angle.
It was like letting the volcano explode in a healthy way that didn't hurt anyone and once the lava (that energy) was released the inner world was reset.
Isn't it sometimes hard to accept a moment of rest? We are all so busy all of the time. I'm a mom of seven! There is ALWAYS, literally every minute of every day, something to do. And not being busy feels like a waste, or maybe a misuse of my time.
So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
My five year old asked me yesterday what is inside our bodies. "A ghost?" And I didn't necessarily have a definitive answer for him ... One that he'd understand, and that is "truth."
It is exhausting, frustrating, exasperating, chaotic humdrum. But somewhere in the humdrum is a little spark of magic or a little whisp of loveliness. And you see it occasionally hiding within and beneath and beyond. And when you look directly at it, it shimmers and shines and whispers, "And this is love."
Life is perfect, you see. But perfection is not what we imagine it to be. It is not every experience a “good” experience. It is not everyone always happy. Perfection is not all rainbows, all sunshine, all perfectly ripe fruit, always clean, always cheerful. Perfection is WHOLENESS. It is all things working in unison. It is all parts, all pieces, all aspects of life working together in a balanced and complete way. Perfection is a FULNESS of life. Without the rain, there aren’t rainbows. Without green bananas sometimes, we can’t appreciate the perfectly deliciously sweet ripe ones. We need these experiences to understand that ALL of life is precious. And so, at this time of year, I look around and appreciate it all.
And in the midst of all that is going on, there is this beautiful lovely stillness that I can intentionally choose to step into. And it creates a sense of peace ...
This appreciation is LIFE. It is the energy that creates the expansion that brings more of your desires and dreams and hopes to your view.
For a few minutes I actually allowed that stupid word to make me feel less than, unimportant, not worthy, and invisible. Again.
So, this day, I offer you this simple Advent to read, to ponder, and maybe to make you curious about your own traditions, life, experiences, and beliefs.
I don't always welcome the triggering circumstances, when they present themselves, but I am beginning to see that they DO provide opportunities if I look.
And so I look at this Mother's Day with excitement, joy, love, and the knowledge that I am gently and infinitely expanding into lovelier and brighter energy each day. I am ALWAYS looking forward at who I desire to be. And that looking forward propels me into that ever increasing energy.
When I have a moment of frustration, I had one this morning actually, I pause, take a deep breath, and ask myself, "what would love do here?" And then I wait for love to show me the way.
Today, more than ever, my desire is to just be a little brighter than before. Maybe that light can boost another. That is my hope anyway.
And so when things arise that are not planned, I look at them and maybe roll my eyes, maybe mutter under my breath that "isn't this just dandy" and then I face the new track head on. Because the other choice is to resist what is, and that's insanity. It is there. I can't change that it is. Might as well live with it and have peace too.