So I'm actually seeing now that motherhood has been and is an incredible gift in so many ways. The perfect gift, sometimes wrapped in really ugly paper, but lovely and amazing on the inside when you turn it around and look at it from a new angle.
THAT is was I experienced. As I breathed and allowed my body to be swallowed up in this radiant light, I understood that it wasn't overtaking me, it WAS (and IS) me. ** I am this energy. I am this vibrating white heat. I am the light of a thousand suns. This power, this light, this brilliance, this potent dynamic energy not only lies within me, IT IS ME!
I just ended a love pilgrimage. It was a deep dive 44 day journey into love and union. Love and union with myself; all the parts of me. And love and union with others. To say this experience changed my life is an understatement. It was profound in so many ways.
You see it for what it IS. It is YOU. And you are lovelier than a perfect drop of summer dew resting on the velvet petal of a newly formed flower. That perfection exists in ALL of us. And I am seeing it more clearly every day.
Even when I'm knee deep in muck and grind, I can catch a glimpse of something truly magnificent, and that glimpse pulls me up slightly so the muck and the grind that feels so depleting has less of a hold on me than it did.
Love is not merely "romantic" ... And it is not kept for only relationships with others.
Love is a dynamic field of potential where ANYTHING is possible.
So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
My five year old asked me yesterday what is inside our bodies.
"A ghost?"
And I didn't necessarily have a definitive answer for him ... One that he'd understand, and that is "truth."
I do not have a fabulously flashy life. I don't travel to exotic places. I don't have a successful career. I don't live in a perfect dream house. I DO have a fabulous life though. It is simple. It is quiet. It is peaceful. And it is perfectly lovely most of the time. (mom life is sometimes brutal of course)
Anytime is the perfect time. Any day, you can sit down and make a list of the things that you'd like to focus on, the things that you think would add light to your life, and you can begin that day to move into that new energy.