It was like letting the volcano explode in a healthy way that didn't hurt anyone and once the lava (that energy) was released the inner world was reset.
So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
I do not have a fabulously flashy life. I don't travel to exotic places. I don't have a successful career. I don't live in a perfect dream house. I DO have a fabulous life though. It is simple. It is quiet. It is peaceful. And it is perfectly lovely most of the time. (mom life is sometimes brutal of course)
And the other foot hovering over a new space that's kind of dark and mysterious. It seems to call to me ... whispering words I can almost hear. And sometimes I almost plant my foot down in that space which would allow me to see a bit more clearly what that spot actually is ... but it's never quite happened. I always linger a bit too long and allow my brain to talk me out of it;
That's the awareness behind EVERYTHING. Every moment. Every contact. Every thought. Every feeling. It is all one.
I don't always welcome the triggering circumstances, when they present themselves, but I am beginning to see that they DO provide opportunities if I look.
After a moment "in the light" I feel like I can do anything, I can meet any challenge with greater ability, and I can give MORE love and light into the world just because it feels so good to do so.
Guess what happens then? Nothing. The thought goes. I don't activate it further by dwelling on it, thus giving it momentum, I just let it go and I become present. "I am here. This is now."
When I was up and getting things going for the morning I realized a battle was being waged at that very moment ... You know that familiar "2 shoulders" thing ... one side "good-positive-optimistic" and one side "bad-negative-pessimistic" ... it was SO happening.