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I had an “eh” day yesterday. I couldn’t even put my finger on WHY I felt that way, I was only VERY aware that I did in fact feel that way.
When my husband came home from work he saw it immediately … apparently I don’t hide my emotions very well (haha! I am incapable, at this point, of being anything less than authentic) and so, the kind loving husband that he is, he said, “why don’t you brush your hair (lol … he totally told me to brush my hair!) and go get something to eat somewhere by yourself.” He knew I would love to have some time out of the house and alone. I, of course, laughed and said “Oh? I need to brush my hair?” and smiled and sent a little gratitude energy up to the “heavens” for the husband I have and that he was filling my need in that moment.
I needed to do a little more than brush my hair, lol, but as I was putting my shoes on listening to my husband helping the kids with dinner I felt grateful and just blessed. Grateful that I am able to have a bad day and it’s ok. Grateful that my husband, who is tired himself after a long day of work, is so willing to allow me what I need to fill myself (it is HARD taking care of 7 kids and staying home everyday … I love it, but it’s hard). Grateful that we have the means to allow me to go out and eat or go to a movie and that it’s close and convenient.
All of that gratitude builds up and spills over into the “blessed” category and I am overwhelmed at the loveliness of life.
The sun was hot and shining (it’s always an energy boost to get a little sunshine) as I drove myself to the nearest Panera Bread and ordered a salad and an apple (and maybe I couldn’t help myself and ordered a cinnamon roll from the pastry section too … I DID have a $1 off coupon for that pastry that I might have put in my purse for later). And because I’ve learned, after having 7 babies, to eat quickly, I realized as I was finishing my meal, that I would be able to jump over to the movie theater in PERFECT timing and sit by myself for 2 hours without anyone pinching me or asking me questions.
So I did just that. I sat down to watch Alice Through the Looking Glass as I texted my husband to tell him where I was and to thank him AGAIN for gifting me this evening alone. And as I put my phone away to prepare for the movie I took a deep breath and thought to myself, “life always gives me what I need. I’m grateful. And look at that! A cinnamon roll! How perfectly planned!”
Lol … I didn’t PLAN to have a cinnamon roll in a movie, but it worked out splendidly. I ate that cinnamon roll and watched that movie and spent that 2 hours alone and was truly replenished. Simple things, people, simple things. (I would have liked to have forgotten a bottle of water in the bottom of my purse … but hey, a girl can’t have everything now can she? It leaves room for NEXT time to be even more perfectly “designed”)
The movie was interesting … it was fast paced … it was colorful … it was entertaining and in that moment, that’s what I needed. Best movie ever? Nope. But it was exactly right for the moment.
At the end of the movie Alice was lamenting to the Hatter that she thought she wouldn’t see him again and he told her that in that place in her dreams they would meet … she said something like, “but that’s not REAL” and he said something like, “who’s to say which is more real?” and I had one of THOSE moments … you know the ones? The moment that something within you SPARKS and it makes you become more aware of what just happened and it allows you to see something you might have missed so you can learn something you’re meant to learn.
I had that moment last night at the end of the movie that I hadn’t planned on seeing on a day I hadn’t planned on being alone and out of the house. So much so was it THAT moment, that I stopped and opened a text note on my phone and wrote it down so I could later remember what I had received.
I won’t go into long detail about WHAT exactly sparked the light within me and the understanding that dawned on me in that moment. What I will say is that we are each guided every moment of every day. And in those moments we’re struggling to see it, or to be aware of any guidance at all, it is STILL there. Every moment is an opportunity to learn something, to see something, to have something revealed when we’re open to it.
I went into the movie last night and knew I was seeing a movie that wasn’t meant to be meaningful to life or anything of that nature, but as I sat there watching the previews I said to that teaching space within me, “if there is a way to be taught or guided within this movie, help me see it and know it” and then I watched and I was entertained and I didn’t think about it again until the VERY end of the movie when Alice said that line to the Hatter and the voice within ME said “pay attention to what the Hatter says HERE” and that spark ignited within me …
And when the movie was over, and I had gotten up OFF of the movie theater floor after my keys fell behind one of the seats in the row in front me and I had to find them by the light of my phone after everyone else had left, I walked out into a now POURING down rain evening and got into my truck and I felt that spark within me still lit and still “fanned” from the moment I had had and I continued to receive understanding – I had an EXPANSION of gratitude. It had GROWN from the filled spot to overflowing.
When we are open, we receive. When we ask, we receive. When we pay attention, there is SO much to learn and so much to see that will teach us if we allow it.
Be open. ASK for guidance. LOOK for it everywhere and at all times … it will come when you least expect it and when it does it will change everything … a change in PERSPECTIVE is a miracle in my book, and I am ALWAYS grateful for miracles. They come to me in perfect timing exactly when I need them. And in those miraculous moments of a shifted energy state, a changed perspective, or a lit spark within me – MY BEING EXPANDS.
There is ALWAYS expansion around every corner. You just have to be open enough to see it.