This past year my husband and I have had the opportunity to open our eyes to the reality of what our relationship was, what relationships CAN be, and to begin to merge the two together.
I just ended a love pilgrimage. It was a deep dive 44 day journey into love and union. Love and union with myself; all the parts of me. And love and union with others. To say this experience changed my life is an understatement. It was profound in so many ways.
It was like letting the volcano explode in a healthy way that didn't hurt anyone and once the lava (that energy) was released the inner world was reset.
So, in my tiny moment of awareness, I said: "I am feeling this right now. It's not my favorite. In fact, I don't like it. But it's here. And I will feel it."
It is exhausting, frustrating, exasperating, chaotic humdrum. But somewhere in the humdrum is a little spark of magic or a little whisp of loveliness. And you see it occasionally hiding within and beneath and beyond. And when you look directly at it, it shimmers and shines and whispers, "And this is love."
Anytime is the perfect time. Any day, you can sit down and make a list of the things that you'd like to focus on, the things that you think would add light to your life, and you can begin that day to move into that new energy.
This appreciation is LIFE. It is the energy that creates the expansion that brings more of your desires and dreams and hopes to your view.
For a few minutes I actually allowed that stupid word to make me feel less than, unimportant, not worthy, and invisible. Again.
Here's what I've learned through it though: What's MOST important, is to truly see MYSELF.
Peace is ALWAYS available. It never changes or alters, it is the foundational essence of what we are. We only need to embrace its presence within, to ALLOW it to flourish.
After a moment "in the light" I feel like I can do anything, I can meet any challenge with greater ability, and I can give MORE love and light into the world just because it feels so good to do so.
We got home and as we were stretching I let it ALL out. I almost cried I was so upset. I focused on and spoke out every fear, worry, stress - all the frustration spilled all over the floor I was stretching on, to the point that I could almost NOT get up because the floor was so slippery. (frustration is a gooey mess if you didn't know.) -- I BELIEVE in the power of my thoughts. I BELIEVE that God and the Universe will sustain my actions when I step forward in faith. I BELIEVE I can do anything I set my mind to doing when God is on my side. I do. But believing and knowing are not the same. And until I receive the successful experience of doing the thing, I don't have knowledge, I have just a belief. -- Sometimes my belief starts out VERY small and shaky. Today my belief was shrouded in my doubt and I struggled to keep putting one foot in front of the other in faith.