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151 | These Thoughts of “Mine”

It’s 5 something am. I heard crying outside my door, so I investigated and found daughter #3 with a terrible neck kink. Now that she’s all set up downstairs, twenty minutes later, I’m lying in bed next to the 4 year old (cause he’s here in my bed sigh) unable to sleep. And I WANT to turn my computer on to do the Friday work, but I don’t want to wake him up. 

In the past, the conundrum would cause a great disturbance in my peaceful balanced “way.” I would be annoyed things hadn’t gone as planned. I would be frustrated the day wasn’t headed the way it usually was and the way I WANTED it to go. 

I would sit and let those thoughts of frustration fester and I would dwell on them and they would gain HUGE amounts of momentum until … mountain out of molehill.

Today? No way. I care about my peace more than that. The thoughts? They’re liars. I do not believe them. They are not me. 

If I become aware of a downward spiral of this kind, going on in my head, I just stop it. I see it for what it is … a momentary blip. It is not monumental. It is a car on the freeway … gone the second I notice it. 

So, the thought comes, “Well, it figures. RIGHT when I was going to meditate to. Of course. I can’t get any time to myself. Urg. Arg. Blarg!”

And then I, being the awareness WATCHING the thought … (because if I can be aware that there ARE thoughts, I am not the thoughts or the thinker of the thoughts, I am the witness, the awareness, the consciousness beyond thought.) … I just witness the thought that comes WITHOUT owning it and attaching myself to it. 

It gets to come. And I get to watch it come. And I don’t have to judge it; it’s not good or bad, it’s a thought. Neutral. And when I see this neural thing come into my awareness, I breathe and relax into the moment, as if this thought is nothing more than a car passing on the road. Not attached to me. Not good or bad. Not detrimental to my wholeness. Not THE TRUTH. 

It is a passing fleeting moment. It is not gravity.

Guess what happens then? Nothing. The thought goes. I don’t activate it further by dwelling on it, thus giving it momentum, I just let it go and I become present. 

“I am here. This is now.”

And I remind myself, for the umpteenth time this week, “I am light. I am impenetrable. Nothing can steal my peace unless I ALLOW it to steal my peace. In fact, I AM peace.”
Your thoughts are not YOU. You are the awareness that sees your thoughts. That means you have the power not to attach your well-being to them, if you so choose. 

When a thought comes and attempts to derail you from your forward path, don’t let it! Call bullshit! It’s not YOURS unless you get lost in it. 

Remember, EVERY moment if you have to, that you are love, you are light, and you have the power to change everything by being who you really are. 

Do not believe any thought that tells you you’re less than, you’re unworthy, not enough, or that someone else is less than, unwanted, or a problem. 

The only “problem” is learning to manage your own energy, and that’s not a problem. It’s your NATURE to be the powerful being you are. 

When a thought comes, and it tries to pull you into its black hole … don’t go that way. See it. Realize it’s BS. Don’t get upset. Don’t get angry at it, or yourself for the fact it showed up, just be neutral. It’s not real. It’s a fleeting moment, a car passing by. Here one moment, gone the next. 

We can maintain our peace beyond the thoughts. It only takes an awareness of the fact that you’re not thinking the thought, because you’re seeing it come and go, you’re the watcher. The witness. 

So be the witness. Let the thought come. Let it go. Be curious, but not attached. 

You can ask yourself why the thought has come up if you want. Sometimes (mmm … ALL the time) they’re pointers to beliefs we hold that aren’t serving us. If you’re feeling especially triggered, be curious about WHY. 

Why do I feel attached to this thought? Why am I feeling threatened? Why am I so angry? 

It’s NEVER because of someone or something outside of you. It’s ALWAYS about a belief  (a fear, a lack belief, a judgement) that you hold within. 

So get curious! Challenge the beliefs that limit you, understanding YOU are limitless. If it’s limiting, it’s NOT you. 

And as you become more aware, and as you remember who you are … MAGIC happens.

And you realize what you are NOT. And everyday, you ditch all the, “this isn’t me,” and you CLAIM all the awareness that IS you … and in that space, there’s peace, freedom, love and bliss. 

And it’s NOT circumstantial. It is not dependent on anything outside of you changing. And THAT’S why it’s so freaking great. It’s EASY to choose peace when you become aware of what ISN’T peace. 

It’s harmony. Serenity. Outside of space and time. It is the well of living water. It cannot be moved when you know how to access it. 

This day … it will be a good one. I see love and fun and light and epiphanies RIGHT on the horizon. 

Watch them come. 


3 replies »

  1. Love your insights. This is a much healthier way to think and live than being judgmental of ourselves and feeling guilty or less than. I like to compare those thoughts to clouds passing by.

    I have enjoyed listening to the podcast Secular Buddhism. I am trying to unlearn some negative thinking and focus on the moment and what is under my control.

    Hope you are doing well in your new home. The heart rock you gave me still sits in my front porch. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

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