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150 | Here I Am


I am going to start writing again. It’s been 5 months. A busy 5 months. We moved suddenly this summer. I have six kids in school this year. It’s nothing short of miraculous everyday that we get everyone where they need to be. I’ve been reading and learning and my perspective has shifted so much in only a short little while. It’s amazing how quickly EVERYTHING changes with a perspective shift, even though nothing really changes.

Here’s what I know: I don’t really KNOW anything.

Here’s what I have experienced (my perspective, which equals my “knowledge”): I can enter into an alternate reality at any moment and EVERYTHING changes, even though, on the outside, it looks the same.

Here’s what I have experienced: thoughts are not necessarily “the truth” … they’re just perspective. They can lie. They can manipulate. They can hinder. They can bind. They can (and do) lead you to believe and focus on stuff that is irrelevant. When your focus is on thoughts that don’t serve you, you have been sufficiently distracted from that which DOES serve you.

Here’s what I have experienced: being present “serves” me. It pulls me into a spacious dimension of peace. It takes me outside of anxiety, worry, distracting thoughts, noise, and all the “chatter” that is so prevalent in our conditioning/programming.

Here’s what I have experienced: When I am present, whatever IS, in that moment, is ok. If I’m feeling anxious, ok. If I’m pissed, ok. If I’m lonely, ok. If I’m frustrated, overwhelmed, guilty, ashamed, grumpy, etc. etc. etc. …. these are ALL just thoughts, and they’re not “the truth.” So it’s OK for them to be there, and for me to be aware that they’re there, and I can see them, allow them to be, but not attach TO them. They can be present, and I can be aware of the spacious field BEYOND the thoughts where there is endless peace. I do not have to OWN the thoughts.

Here’s what I’ve experienced: When I don’t own every thought, but I allow it to be, it MOVES. When I am in a state of “allowing” I’m letting what IS, be. I’m not hiding from it, pushing it down, pretending it’s not there, constricting it … I’m letting it flow through me without judging it. I’m seeing it. It’s there. And I am not attached to it because I know that I am NOT my thoughts. I am sitting in the spacious place beyond all thought and I have peace no matter what comes in the physical dimension. BECAUSE of that peace, the thought comes, it’s not judged, it is witnessed, and then it moves. It flows into the “cosmic plane” and gets to be released from my energetic field.

Here’s what I’ve experienced: There is FREEDOM in release. There is FREEDOM in surrendering to the moment and seeing it as the neutral ground it is … I don’t have to judge it as good or bad … I get to just witness that it has come and it is here and I am still the BEing beyond what circumstantially comes up.

Here’s what I’ve experienced: What I am, is THAT I am. My NATURE is existence. I exist. I am. There is a core foundational “spark” within ALL things, it resides “within” me as well, and as I experience that spacious “knowing” (experiencing the BEing that I am) … I am released from the labels, the definitions, the conditioning, the forms, the structures, the needs, the worries, the constrictions, and all else that limits the universal expression that I am.

Here’s what I have experienced: I am. I exist. I am aware that I am a conscious being. My awareness is WHAT I am. I am awareness. I am consciousness. I am a being. This is the core of my essence. This is the “spark” of the energy of my soul … I AM.


Here’s what I believe: You are too. And you can know it as simply as a shoe is a shoe (because a shoe is a shoe, right? Duh. It is a shoe. It can’t be anything other than a shoe) … you are that – the I AMness that exists within all things. You don’t have to change to be. You don’t have to alter yourself to realize what you are … you ARE it. A shoe is a shoe. It can’t be anything other THAN a shoe. It doesn’t have to TRY to be a shoe. It doesn’t have to learn how to “become” a shoe … it’s a shoe. It’s always been a shoe. It will always be a shoe. That is unalterable.

So too with you. You are. You exist. You are a spark of the SUN. (the light, the energy of the universe, God, etc.) A unique spark, yes, but no less “sun like” than any other. That is the CORE of your nature, you’re beingness. You don’t have to learn how to be what you are … you ARE it. It IS you. EVERTHING about you expresses that unique nature of your soul. And EVERY part of your being testifies to that which you are and have always been. You ARE one with the SUN. The very light that animates ALL things … THAT IS YOU!

There is nothing you have to do to earn it … you can’t earn your nature … it is what you are. Whether you see it, acknowledge it, recognize it, realize it  … it simply IS. Without question. Without changeability. You don’t earn it, you don’t need to learn how to be it, you don’t have to try to “become” something greater or more …. YOU ARE IT. Right now. This moment.

I don’t know a lot of things. Probably there’s more I DON’T know than what I DO know. I don’t have special “labels” to slap on to what I say to make you think I have “earned” the right to say what I say and write what I write. I don’t actually believe I need those. Because what I DO have is access to the same CORE of being within me that is within YOU too. And it is a never ending well of living water … alive and flowing. And it flows through me and it flows through you. And because we are one in that place, you can find harmony in these letters on this screen. They can lift you up. They can strengthen you. They can connect with that part of you that IS, without question.

We ARE one in that place. And it is peaceful and inviting and lovely.

I hope to meet you there.


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