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166 | To Wake or Not to Wake

waves-of-change

Do you know what’s interesting? EVERYTHING.

LIFE is interesting. Even when it seems kind of “boring” and mundane, it’s STILL interesting if you pay attention and are very aware. At face value, I lead a kind of “same old – drive my kids places pay bills do laundry” kind of life … but even within these neatly drawn lines, there is SO much room for new colors and scribbles of every shape and size. 

For instance, I’ve been stuck in some pretty hard wired habits. And they’re not terrible, but I would like to move beyond them.

One of my “not terrible” habits that I would like to let of is my morning wake up “routine.” I have always struggled with mornings. When I was younger I remember dreading morning and hearing people say, “good morning” very happily and wondering how anyone could think morning had anything good about it. I like to sleep. I’ve never been fond of waking up and getting out of bed on a schedule.

I’m not that dramatic anymore about morning, I’m happy to wake up, but usually I linger longer than I need to. I have two alarms set because I know the time I WANT to get up I won’t, so I set a second alarm to make sure I get up in time to go to the bathroom and put shoes on before I have to wake all the little kids up and take the big girls to school.

Basically I am procrastinator extraordinaire for mornings. I know this about myself. I’ve accepted I am this way currently.

The thing is, I would like to let go of this heavily embedded “way” of being.

There’s nothing WRONG with procrastinating getting out of bed, but I desire to spend time before all of my duties to connect to myself and the universe … maybe meditate for twenty minutes, maybe just sit and breathe and assimilate the new day’s energy. I don’t have time to do that when I wake up only ten minutes before I have to travel around waking all my little people up from their sleeps.

I’ve been standing on the brink of this shifting for a while. One foot in the “let’s just stay the same” spot … that’s comfortable and easy. I know what to do in that spot. I know how it’s going to go in that spot. And the other foot hovering over a new space that’s kind of dark and mysterious. It seems to call to me … whispering words I can almost hear. And sometimes I almost plant my foot down in that space which would allow me to see a bit more clearly what that spot actually is … but it’s never quite happened. I always linger a bit too long and allow my brain to talk me out of it; it is, after all, committed to my “safety” and comfort … and of course, the “same old way” is comfortable. (brains like to do that. I have to remind myself frequently not to believe everything I think.)

Here I am today though, and I’ve just been given a little gift from the universe to help me. An idea. A piece of inspiration. An Audible book that showed up somehow and is EXACTLY the nudge I need to set that hovering foot down into the new spot. (the universe likes to do THAT. I have to remind myself frequently that the universe has my back and I will get what I need when I’m ready for it.)

We shall see. There is some positive energetic momentum that I plan to hold on to while this shift is in motion. I believe I have the courage to do this little thing that may seem silly to some but seems so monumental to me.

It only takes the thought and then desire and then the ACTION to make it so. I only need to step. Sure, it’s a step into the seemingly unknown, but in the past those little steps around corners turned out to be amazingly enlightening and freeing moves.

So today I am breathing. Deep, slow, clarifying breaths that are telling me I can do what I desire to do. And I plan to go to sleep tonight with the intention set that I will move when I’m inspired to move.


May you be so inspired to move in your life. May you set your hovering foot down into the unknown and see the beauty that changes can bring. May your new sight bring a much needed clarity to your awareness. And may you spread that light you receive to all you meet.

May it be.


honorthismoment

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