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105 | My Soul On Fire

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{So my kids have been on summer break and we’ve been busy! I find it challenging to want to go sit in my office on the computer when they’re home. I think blogging, this summer, will be less frequent than it was during the school year … and that’s a good thing! It means I’m alive and living my life.}

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I am a thinker. The thoughts in my head are my constant companions … always there, always changing, sometimes helping me see, side tracking me sometimes … there is so much to think about all of the time. There’s sort of a swirling, ebbing, flowing, “menagerie” of “friends” that occupy this mind of mine. They help me, they hinder me, they grow me, they distract me, they lead me, they guide me, they even sometimes annoy me.

My continual thoughts though, center around a glowing burning fire that shines and shouts – “GROWTH!” – this is what fuels me. It is my inspiration, it is my “purpose,” it is my reason … it is why I exist.

I know in this world we tend to focus greatly on outward things. We see our “jobs” or “labels” as defining who we are. When you meet someone you ask, “so what do you do?” And you expect them to tell you if they’re a doctor, a lawyer, a baker, an ice dancer, a CPA, a teacher, a “stay home parent,” a tattoo artist, a line drawer, a writer or any number of other “job descriptions.” And that label is how we tend to define the person, that and how we perceive them based upon their outward appearance … their hair, skin, clothes, car, home, etc..

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The thing is … I don’t like labels. I think they fail to convey who a person is and trying to cram all of someone into a few words does little to truly describe a unique soul. What you do for a job and how you look doesn’t define you … it doesn’t mean you’re that thing and only that. What you do does say how you’re willing to spend a great deal of your time … and yeah, I can probably learn a lot about a person in listening to how THEY define their role in society … but that “I am a mom” descriptor doesn’t tell you who I truly am … it only describes an outward aspect of a tiny portion of my being.

I have gone through years feeling as though I was unworthy because of that “I am a mom” descriptor. (I am SO done with that, thank GOD! and I do acknowledge that was my own insecurity) I can’t even count the many times I’ve been asked “what do you do?” and said “I am a mom” and what kind of conversation killer that is. I get it … I don’t “earn” anything by society’s standards in being a “homemaker.” And I understand that that isn’t valued by many people.

I see that the world says how you make money defines you. I see that those who make more money usually have more respect and those who make nothing usually aren’t considered. (yes, I’m generalizing here … ) I see that how someone looks usually determines how they’re treated. I understand how we draw lines around groups of people and generalize who all those, within that set of criteria – that “grouping” – are.

“They are lazy.”

“They are violent.”

“They are smart.”

“They are beautiful.”

“They are just that?”

“They don’t have this.”

“They don’t know how?”

“They are better.”

“They are too loud.”

“They are too quiet.”

“They are too old, too young, too happy, too pessimistic, too religious, not religious enough, too weak, too strong, too rich, too poor, too skinny, too fat, too light, too dark, too  …”

“They are not like me.”

In all of this “defining” and “labeling” the world around us, I think we miss the point.

And the point is … IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!!

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So what that they’re different? So what that they don’t look like you look, act like you act, see as you see? SO what?

Does it truly matter what a person looks like to you? Does how they look, by any number of ways to describe who they are, change the fact that they’re a person? No. I am a person regardless of your summation of me. You are the same … no matter how I choose to see you, you exist, you’re alive, you’re a soul within a body and because that is so, you matter.

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The worth of a soul is not defined and counted among the “worthy” by anything that you see here in this place we call earth. The worth of a soul is not FROM here and therefore cannot be defined in earthly terms … your worth just is. It is unchangeable, it is infinite, it is perfectly wholly worthy at all times, in all things, and in all places. No. Matter. What.

Yeah we live here. Yep. And yes, society does choose to define and generalize and label and all of that exists. But imagine if we all gave up relying on that, to compare and judge and determine whether another is “worthy” of our time, resources, love, etc. … imagine that? What kind of world would that be?

We could have no judgment for others … it wouldn’t be necessary because we’d understand that it means nothing. What’s “real” is not what you see here, but what we are infinitely and that is without changing and without capability of being diminished. It is just a truth and truth cannot be altered, cannot be found untrue … truth is truth. It is the ONLY way to see it (when you desire to know truth) not because it is a better way, a nicer way, a kinder way, but because it is the ONLY way. If there’s just one way there’s not room for judgement in that … there’s just the truth. One thing is one thing.

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It is possible not to see truth, not to want to know truth, not to be able to perceive truth, not to understand truth … those happen. But they do not change the truth … living within one of those just means you don’t see truth. The truth is still the truth.

My eyes are blue. Without question they are. You could try to say they’re not, you could not KNOW what they look like, you could see them in a dark room and think they’re gray … any number of perceptions could come into the mix and make my eyes being blue unclear … but it doesn’t change the truth. There is only one truth and that is that my eyes are most definitely blue.

Truth is truth.

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In the world (the world I imagine with my thoughts) where we all desire to know truth, work to find it, choose to cast off the illusion when we realize it’s not the way, and then embrace, with fire and soul strengthening gusto, the actual truth of existence – we all know. In that place we know. And in knowing we all love without condition, and in unconditional loving there is no judgment, labelling, comparing, generalizing … there’s just soul growing energy that continually limitlessly grows us. All of us. Together in unity.

This is the place I choose to see. This is the world, I imagine in my heart, we’re headed toward. This is that inner flame that fans all of the thoughts that fuel my existence.

And this place tells me that I am worthy. I am beyond labels because I am an infinite soul with infinite wisdom, light, love, and uniqueness.  And if I am, you are. You are perfectly wholly worthy of ALL that is lovely and life growing … and if you don’t know you’re worthy, you keep searching and you will find that truth. And when you do it will be like the sun coming out of the clouds from a long dark winter and you will turn your head to the sky, close your eyes and cherish the warmth only the truth can bring and it will set your soul on FIRE and you will want to tell the world.

HOW you choose to tell us? I can’t wait to see.

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