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I got stung by a bee last night. And I’m allergic to bee venom. I was really annoyed when it happened and just thought, “stupid bee.” I didn’t even bug the bee … I was just minding my own business going for a walk and felt a sting on my leg. sigh
So, instead of eating my birthday dinner with my family, I went to the hospital to make sure I could breathe and stuff. As I was sitting trying to calm myself in the waiting room I was near a mother who was mad that her son wasn’t being seen as quickly as she wanted him to be. She was ranting and raving and telling everyone she could find that would listen, why she was so pissed. She just kept working herself up more and more into “troubled angry” energy.
I sat there sort of spacing out and had a very “present” moment where time sort of stopped. What was happening in that moment didn’t matter so much I realized. So I was sitting there waiting. I could have been frustrated I wasn’t being seen that exact moment. I could have gotten more and more worked up about the bee sting and the leg that was swollen and my birthday dinner being “ruined.” I could have.
But I didn’t. I realized in that moment, “who cares? This is what IS. This situation is not helped by me getting mad and annoyed, so instead I will quietly sit here and just be here, breathing the breath into my lungs and waiting.”
Was it “wrong” of that mom to be so annoyed and mad and frustrated? No. She was worried. She was stressed. It was presenting itself as anger toward the hospital. I could see that it didn’t help anything, but it wasn’t hurting me. And it was her choice how to respond to that situation. I felt understanding and compassion wash over me for that mom who just wanted her kid to be ok.
But it helped me see that nothing “positive” (helpful, fruitful, etc.) comes from that kind of response. It’s not a “wrong” response, it’s just not the response I would choose. I’d rather have peace.
Every day there are opportunities to grow. Every day there are choices to be made that either help us move forward into who we want to be or keep us back where we are just waiting to become. The choices are sometimes tiny and miniscule in nature and then sometimes they’re huge mountainous choices that are so obviously screaming “choose me to move forward!” we can’t help but look that way.
The little choices, the tiny moments, are the ones that are trickier I think. It’s easy to see a huge mountain of a moment and to recognize that spot within it where progress is made. It’s harder in the little daily moments that are always there, quietly just there.
Here’s the thing, every choice I make either helps me be more than I am or not. And if it doesn’t help me, then it’s hindering me. There are only those 2 choices. It might look like it could just be a “resting” choice and there’s not anything holding you back in it, it’s just not moving you forward … but if it’s not moving you forward it IS holding you back.
As always, learn the truth first that neither is good nor bad. You’re not good if you choose to move forward and bad if you choose not to. You’re not better than another for choosing forward progression and worse than another if you choose to sit and rest or not make the choice that propels you forward. There is not judgment in it. There is only, where do you DESIRE to be? Does this get you there? If so? That’s forward movement – progression. If not? That’s NOT movement, it’s stagnant, “resting,” NOT progression.
You are the one who decides. There isn’t someone outside of you telling you, “you MUST progress in this EXACT way and if you don’t you’re a terrible bad person.” There’s just your own freedom to choose who you want to be and then either alignment with that or not.
When you make choices – big MOUNTAINOUS choices and small tiny baby choices – that are in ALIGNMENT with who you WANT to be you’re choosing to progress, to grow, to experience MORE. You’re not better for doing it, you’re not worse and bad if you don’t, you’re just in alignment with your dreams, desires, and intent.
If you choose “the right way” you can know that you will grow. (“right way” is just code for the way that moves you into GREATER EXPANSION. We’ve misconstrued the word “right” for so long – we think it means the way everyone should go, but in reality it’s only “right” for you if it propels you forward into YOUR greater existence. That WAY will be different for everyone.) And in my opinion, we’re on this earth to experiences things and to grow because of them so choosing what grows us? That’s “right.”
If you choose “the wrong way” (that means the way that hinders or halts your expansion) you won’t grow. You are not bad if you do. You are not a terrible person. You are not unworthy of love. You are not incapable. You are not stupid. You are not forever lost. These things do not actually exist … you are ALWAYS worthy, wonderful, capable, smart, beautiful, and lovely. Those ALWAYS exist within you. Always.
So the bottom line is ….
What do you want? Who do YOU want to be?
That’s it. Do you want to move forward today? If you do? Make choices that align with your “greater more expanded” self. And you will grow if your choices are in alignment with that self because those choices will propel you FORWARD in motion toward your dreams, desires, and intents.
If you fall? Yes … we all do. We all will. It’s a thing you know. You can smack your hand on the floor and say “that sucked. Boo.” And then take a deep breath and sit up. Look around you and see where you are and maybe remember WHY you fell … what was it that pushed you down there? And then chalk it up to experience, be grateful you learned what NOT to do again, and then get up, brush yourself off, look back TOWARD your desires, and continue on.
You’ll probably fall again too … and that’s OK! IT IS ALWAYS OK! There is not judgment in it, so take out the “bad unworthy” words and just be grateful for new beginnings.
Every moment you have the opportunity to choose. Isn’t that awesome?! Doesn’t that just make you excited to be alive?! I think if we see every choice we make as a growing experience, even if we make a choice that isn’t the “right” way that will grow us, we can still LEARN from that choice and so it DOES actually grow us! That means that EVERY day we grow if we look for the lessons in the choices we make.
I have fallen so many times it’s comical. I have had my face to the floor more times than I can count. But you know what? I’m still alive. I’m still breathing. I still have a heart beating within me and that means that I can keep getting my sorry self up off the floor and readjust.
Every time I fall, every time I screw up, every time I make a choice that I’m not happy with I just readjust. That’s all I need to do. I don’t need to beat myself up about it. I don’t need to judge myself as a stupid idiotic failure, I just need to recognize that I can learn from every experience and even though I’m faced with the same lessons over and over and over I am ALWAYS given the choice to learn from them and to grow. No matter how many times I fall I can always pick myself up and move forward.
So today I am doing that. I am looking forward. I am not focusing on all the choices that didn’t help me, I’m focusing on this moment and how I can grow right now. That’s it. I have right now to do and in this exact moment it’s not super hard … it’s one tiny moment. I can do one tiny moment. Over and over I can do the present moment and I can make choices that help me and I can see that when I don’t I can just reset and move forward again.
There is ALWAYS a new beginning ahead.
honorthismoment – #100somethings – 21/100
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