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I run 4 days a week. Today was my “run next to a run” day … the only day that I run and have not had a break the day before. I think because I’m relatively new to running, my body is still getting used to it. I have hip and shin “ache.” It’s not pain per se, just super achiness when I stop running. Even with this achiness though, I love how I feel after I’ve run. I love that I feel like I accomplished something – like I did something hard. I love that I feel like I can breathe easier. I love that my skin feels like it’s “cleaner” and that my lungs feel like they’re replenished or something. It’s that workout “high” and I totally believe in it.
Today, because I also ran yesterday, was slightly more challenging. I had to literally force myself to get out of the house, and as I started I thought, “why am I doing this again?” and half way through I thought “I just have to keep telling myself I can do this.”
It takes a lot of “mind over matter” for me for some reason. Maybe it does for everyone, I don’t know, but I have to really use positive affirmations, I have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other no matter what, and I have to fully focus on my belief that I CAN do anything I choose with God lifting me up and the Universe “having” my back.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the course of my life experiences …
- I can do hard things.
- I am always able to put one foot in front of the other … and sometimes that’s ALL I am able to do, but it is always enough.
- When I focus on forward movement, I am able to go further than when I focus on what’s behind me – looking TOWARD my goals gets me where I want to go.
- The source of my being, whatever you call that energy, I usually call it God and Universal Light … or something of that nature … that energy sustains me. It lifts me up, it eases my burdens, it fills me with peace, and when there are hard things in my pathway, connecting to that energy is how I do the hard things.
- I am excellent at self sabotage. Truly gifted. Whether I acknowledge it or not (my current state of awareness is all about acknowledging … previously in my life I did it without being aware) I sabotage my success in life by believing I can’t do things, by having the running dialog of “lack and failure” energy going through my mind, and through my constant need to pick myself apart continually. “I am not good enough. I can’t do this. This is hard. I don’t know if I’ll make it. I am lazy. I am not worthy.”
- And now because I AM more aware in my life, I understand that I can OWN that I sabotage my own success, and then in that owning and awareness I can step outside of that negative pattern and CREATE a new one – a more positive affirming pattern of self love, self worthiness, belief in my ability to do anything, etc.
- My worth is not tied to what I do, what I say, what others see of me or the worldly accomplishments that society believes defines a person.
- My worthiness is intrinsic to my being. It IS me … there is nothing that can separate me from my nature … and because I am who I am (as we all are) I am of worth simply because I exist. Without question, without changeability, without limit. (God is unchangeable and I am one with God … The Universe just IS … and I am a part of that limitless energy)
- I am who I think I am. If I see within the “self sabotaging” paradigm, I am that thing that is lazy, that can’t do hard stuff, that is not able … basically I am telling myself that I am worthless and there’s lack within me. – OR – I can choose a different way of living and believe in my unchangeable divine nature. In that way I am unable TO fail … God is on my side. In that way the only possibility is success … the Universe is working FOR my benefit and has got my back. When I tell myself that I can do hard things because that is the only possibility in the truth of who I really am, I am acting in faith on what I believe and I am readjusting my thought patterns to love and worthiness instead of the self sabotaging lack and unworthiness.
- And finally (there are many more, but for today) I am connected to ALL things. One with all. Unity is truth. We are all the same energy. Because that is so, when one of us succeeds in a beautiful authentically joyful way, it opens the way for all of us to see success as our potential and to understand that where there is expansion (success) there is life and love – if there is life for one it is available to all because we are all connected. Your success inspires me to open up space for my own success. And my success should inspire you to the same. If one of us is joyfully creating a beautiful existence that tells me that I can do it too because God is FOR each of us equally. If one of us succeeds it doesn’t take away anything from anyone else … there is not a lack within “created” energy … it is limitlessly expanding. There is always more available – an abundant source of love and light. And so when one of us succeeds I see that as a brilliant shining beacon of hope that I too will succeed and I use it to guide me forward continually.
It’s amazing what a little 3 mile run before driving kids to school can help me see. I always receive what I need, and the more I tell myself that truth, the more I receive. It is continual and it is expanding.
As I was “walking” my heart rate down before I had to be home … with 8 minutes to spare to take my daughter to middle school, I just felt this gratitude. I said to that “God Universe” space within me, “Thank you thank you thank you. I am grateful I can run, I am grateful the sun is shining, I am grateful I am continually sustained, and I am so grateful I see who I am. Thank you for helping me see.”
And as I write this moment, with that “de ja vu” feeling … I think to myself “have I written this before? Am I recycling words?” and I realize it doesn’t matter. This is my moment right now. This is what I’m thinking. These are the thoughts on my mind. And so I will honor this moment because it IS who I am in this exact space. I am grateful. I am filled with love for life and for the truths that have distilled upon my soul and brought me so much peace and light.
And I look forward to my run on Thursday with the knowledge that I certainly CAN do anything and in putting one foot in front of the other I will accomplish ALL of my goals.