Well there’s no school today. And I had planned a perfectly peaceful balanced morning of walking, and meditating and writing this blog post and helping the kids with breakfast and morning chores and then doing the shoe shopping that is on the schedule for today. It was going to be awesome and I was going to have such a perfectly happy and balanced energy for this day!
I was excited.
It did not go the way I had visualized.
The 2 year old screamed his head off the WHOLE night. Literally. I think he cried for 20 minutes straight every single hour from midnight until morning. He wanted his back rubbed, and his feet hurt, and he was hungry but then wouldn’t eat, and he just screamed and screamed for no apparent reason. He put his feet in my face and his feet in my back … we had pulled him into bed with us so we could try to calm him down. He was mostly inconsolable and just loudly projected that energy out of him for most of the night.
It was frustrating. It was annoying. It was distressing. It was tiring. And I’m certain in there I felt a flash of anger (or many) at having my sleep interrupted and being so tired I couldn’t think straight.
It was not awesome. And it messed up my plans for getting up early and doing all the things I wanted to do in a peacefully quiet morning house.
So much of life is like this. We make plans and we picture how we want things to go, and then they don’t. They get altered somehow and they change and shift from our original intent and we have a tendency to look at those as “bad” changes. They aren’t what we wanted or planned and so they’re messed up. Not desired.
I was totally looking at my “sleeping soundly and morning full of quiet peace” plans in this way. Ruined. Messed up. BOO!
Do you know what I’ve learned? That generally speaking, it’s better to have an idea, a thought or intent for the day, and then as a parenthesis around that plan, a “just go with the flow and what will be will be.”
I don’t have a percentage for you of the times things don’t go on schedule, but I’d venture to say it’s high. In fact, with 9 people in this family the percentage is even higher for something to change and plans to be altered in some way. Someone has to go to the bathroom at the last minute, or someone kicks a hole in the door, or these 2 are fighting and we have to stop to deal with that, or the screaming toddler during the night, or … or … I could list a multitude of ways plans get changed.
The point is, PLANS GET CHANGED. Things DO shift! And if you’re so very married to the perfect way you think it should all go, you’re most likely going to be disappointed. Having an attitude of “what will be will be and I will work with it and make it lovely” is a WAY healthier outlook on life. It allows for all the little turns and twists that come and then you’re able to work with them and use them and just accept that they exist and it’s SO ok!
I didn’t meditate today. I did not get to do a morning walk. I didn’t sleep well. These are what happened. Fighting against them, being angry about them, dwelling in the frustration will help nothing and will harm the atmosphere for me today. So I’m choosing to let it go, and just go with the way that it DID happen.
I stayed in bed until 8:30. That NEVER happens! And the other kids were quiet and allowed us to sleep. There isn’t school today so what a PERFECT day for sleeping in!
(I read a lot … sometimes I use words that normal people don’t use because they just seem like the perfect most descriptive word for that moment. My kids and husband generally look at me funny and then we get to look it up and define it! Another one of my favorite things. 🙂 )
The night and morning didn’t go as planned, but I’m here and we’re all alive and generally happy, I was able to get a few hours of sleep so that’s something! I have the WHOLE day to redeem this moment … to make the beauty that I had visualized be. I get to choose to make that be today and I’m SO going to!
When things don’t go smoothly, don’t go as planned, when you’re disappointed or angry or whatever …. allow that to be. It’s real. It’s life. It happens. Being present means owning the moment, whatever that moment is, and not fighting and raging against it, but just accepting that it is what is.
It is what happened. The toddler screamed his head off all night and my morning plans were foiled. Yes, this is the moment I’m living currently. I’m going with it. I’m moving forward from this moment and just saying “Universe, what have you got for me today because I’m expecting beautiful miracles.” and then I’m just lovingly waiting, living this day to the fullest I can, knowing that I WILL see miracles as they are the expectation I hold in my thoughts.
I have lived both ways. I have lived years and years of fighting against things that didn’t go “my way” and just being frustrated and angry and tired and depressed. I know that life. I have also lived just accepting what is. Allowing it to be, because it IS what is. And in that allowing of reality to be, I have peace.
My life is full of love and joy and there are nights of screaming children and fighting siblings and all the other stuff life entails … but it’s ok. It’s life. And those moments that are less desirable and more challenging are opportunities for me to shift my focus to the more “love filtered” way. I have to choose it. I have to consciously tell myself to look through the heart shaped glasses I need to pick up and put on, instead of the the ones that are currently on my face telling me I’m angry and frustrated.
It’s a matter of perspective and focus and conscious choice. Always it comes down to what you desire in your life and then choosing that way.
Isn’t it a nicer thing to take responsibility for the atmosphere of your thoughts and to be a conscious creator of a more loving approach?
You CAN choose this! You CAN alter completely the way the world operates for you just by the thoughts that you allow into your focus.
Do not believe that anyone else is creating your terrible view. I could blame my 2 year old today for ruining my day. I totally could. But I don’t, because I get to choose how I respond to that challenge, and I understand that HE can’t affect my perspective, only I can do that.
No one else is the cause for your happiness or unhappiness. You choose to be happy or to not be happy and what others do matters very little in the atmosphere of your being.
When you’re at peace in your heart and you are just in allowance of things as they are, nothing can destroy that peace because nothing matters. Only the peace that God gives matters, and that is unalterable within when you’re consciously choosing to accept it into your being.
Take responsibility today for how you see the world and what you choose to focus on. It’s ALL on you, so make the choice and then just accept what is and see the loveliness that comes into your life as you choose to focus on beautiful peace filled thoughts. You WILL change your world as you adjust your focus and are open to whatever comes.