My 2 year old is super sick. Every time he coughs he cries because it hurts him so much. It’s so sad to watch; as his mother I want only wholeness and healing for him! He was up half the night crying and coughing and just miserable. And because of this, I was up half the night rubbing his back and trying to help him be calm and sleep.
I love my babies. They are beautiful and wonderful and amazing. But being a parent is hard, right? I sometimes feel like I have no idea what I’m doing and I have such a desire to help them discover who they are and unlock everything they need in life, to be successful and happy in whatever they choose to do.
I want them to be happy. I want them to take responsibility for their thoughts and words and actions. I want them to develop a desire to “heal the world” so to speak, and to see that in helping others, we can accomplish that.
I want them to know, without doubt, that they are whole, worthy, beautiful, and exactly who they should be. I hope that they learn that their very divine nature is unchangeable and THAT is who they are.
I want them to know that they can choose to do whatever they want to do. All they have to do is have a desire, be brave, and go for it.
I want them to learn how to clean and do laundry and all the practical things that life requires.
I really want them to feel connected to each other, to all people, to all things, and to know that through that connection, we are all one and we rise by lifting each other and together we come to healing.
I have learned, over the course of having 7 kids and being a mother for 16 years, that I can’t make my children anything. They are who they are. They came with unique personalities and characteristics and desires and passions and loves. I didn’t do that. They ARE those things. Those unique characteristics are intrinsically part of who these souls are, their very nature, and my only job as the mom is to nurture their unique souls in whatever way love calls for.
I “reacted” a lot, as a young mother. I felt frustration when my kids didn’t listen to me, I felt frustration when they were being “dramatic” or expressing strongly their uniqueness. I thought many times, “you’d think after having this many kids we’d get an easy one!” But that “easy one” never came. Each of the kids I have born into the world are strong willed and SO unique and full of life and passion for their own desires and they are determined to be who they are.
And you know what? I love that. I have developed a deep love for their strong wills and their little determined hearts and their desire to be unique and to OWN it. I am grateful these kids are learning who they are and are not being swayed by the “normal” way or the “fall in line” way. I want to teach in positive ways and help them embrace the truth to BE YOURSELF! NEVER BE ASHAMED FOR WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT EXACTLY AS YOU ARE!
I hope they each learn to love what they love. I hope they each learn to dress how they want to dress. I hope they each learn to do what they want to do. I hope they each learn that no one can tell them who they are, and that the only thing they can do is BE who they are and not worry about the voices outside, to only listen to the voice inside.
I believe as I help each one of my children embrace their uniqueness and their beauty that I will also be teaching them to allow all others to also be unique and beautiful in their own way. In owning yourself and loving yourself, you bring freedom for all.
I hope my kids grow and understand that they only need to love others, not judge them; just love them. And in doing that, they bring love to their OWN lives. I hope they see that ALL people are worthy and beautiful and unique and each person has something amazing to bring to the world and our job is to see it and embrace that unique amazing thing. I hope they learn to develop a deep sense of connectedness with ALL people and as they live their lives, to see that we’re all human, and that makes us the same, and when we spread love we are lifting others in the only way we can.
I have moments, as a mother, that are downright frazzled messes. I am overwhelmed frequently at trying to balance teaching seven kids and loving and allowing and all of the things that having little humans in my care calls for. I know though, that I can only do the best that I can. I can try, at every opportunity, to bring teaching, healing, and love … and the moments I don’t do that, I can let go of. I am human too after all, and not only are my kids here to allow me to teach them, but they teach me how to be a better human everyday as well.
It’s a beautiful arrangement really. It’s so full of love and fun and LEARNING and I just really enjoy being a parent and watching these people grow into themselves. It’s truly a privilege.
Even on the mornings after a night of sick crying toddler boy … I feel gratitude for being able to BE here; to be present in their lives and to be able to watch them bloom.
The growth I am witnessing is truly expanding my joy. Daily. I sometimes just sit and watch the scene with a heart full of love because I have no other thing I can do but just love it. It’s miraculous.