You know, I sometimes wonder why so many of us feel so worthless. We spend so much of our time degrading ourselves, putting ourselves down, and even sabotaging any possibility of success. We speak disharmony into our lives – speaking to ourselves in negative ways – things which we would never say to others … it’s ok to talk to ourselves that way?!
What is the point of looking at yourself as less than, unworthy, not good enough, and not capable?
I set my alarm for 4:44 am last night. Before I went to bed I told myself that the five and a half hours of sleep I was going to get would be the EXACT amount I needed to feel energized, refreshed, and awake in the morning. I said to myself that getting up would be easy and that I was so grateful for a body that could give me the perfect amount of restful sleep I needed in just 5 hours.
I went to sleep. I woke up at 4:30. And I felt good. I sort of just lied there WAITING for my alarm to go off at 4:44. And when it did? I fell into a familiar pattern of thinking … “I could just lie in bed until I have to wake the 16 year old up. I’m tired, right? More rest is good. I will just lie here awake, quiet, and still … I can meditate that way.”
HA! Right. Mmhmm … that’s a GOOD idea. (<<< insert sarcasm there)
OR I could … As my higher self, intuition, God, Universe guides told me … “GET UP! You can’t expect positive change in your life if you’re NOT willing to change! You are WORTH waking up at 4:44 to fill yourself with positive intention and energy for the day. You are worth it, so get up!”
Guess what I did?
I got up. And I felt pretty dang good considering how much sleep I got. I meditated in the lotus position (not lying down or slouching in my bed) … and it was great. And I did my affirmations for the day, and I read. I did all of these things as the house was quiet, the sky was dark outside, and my heart was full.
I can tell you that putting into practice what I know to be healthy and good for my body and soul is harder to maintain than just knowing that they’re what I need. Yes, they ARE what I need. I’ve done them enough to have received the witnesses of their beautiful fruit. Then why is it so hard to MAINTAIN those habits?
I can only tell you why it’s hard for ME … and here’s the short of it:
I don’t think I’m worth it.
*sigh* I would like to say that I have everything figured out and that I’m always “on fire” and I’m always making the perfect choices for healing and wholeness. And I could tell you what the best choice is usually … and I could tell you HOW to be always on fire and in flow … but the actual doing of the all the things? I have work to do.
I MUST not believe I’m worth the effort if I don’t actually put in the effort. I must somehow not believe what I say when I say that I have divine potential and my CHOOSING it and to believe in it is what brings it to fulfillment. I must not actually care what example I’m setting for my kids and the world around me … I’m all talk if I don’t actually LIVE what I believe to be truth.
I do live my truth. I have changed SO much over the past years. I am more whole, more loving, kinder, less judgmental, happier, more joyful, more patient, more believing, and just MORE than I was … not in nature, but in knowing. I have always been this, I have always been worthy and whole, but my perception and alignment to that wholeness is more clear and more pure than it was.
I am more aware and conscious than I’ve ever been.
So I KNOW how far I’ve come and the miraculous changes that have occurred … but I also know I have so much MORE that I could be, that I could do, that I could see, that I could know … my potential is GREAT.
So why am I struggling to wake up in the morning to give myself a boost for the day when I’m continually inspired over and over that it’s what I need?
I am done with crazy.
I told my husband last night that I was committing to getting up at 4:44 for 3 weeks so I could prove to myself what good fruit would come … I am certain the witnesses will come, I just need to give myself the time to see them manifest. I said to him “I guess I am going to just do it and tell myself I’m worth the effort.”
He said to me, “it’s about time you finally got that.”
He’s right. What have I been waiting for? This is an ESSENTIAL thing to get … my nature is divine. My ability to do great, beautiful, amazing, successful things is equal to anyone else’s ability to do amazing things. What is in me that calls forth my divine potential is the same thing in anyone else that calls forth their most authentically lived life of true potential.
If someone is succeeding somewhere that tells me that I can and SHOULD expect to succeed in what I desire to do.
My acting small and little and unable and not worth it helps no one. It certainly doesn’t help me. And it doesn’t help my daughters, or my sons or my husband or anyone else that sees me, that knows me, or anyone that I’m able to influence in any way. The way I help the world is through living up to my TRUE potential … and that is and always will be peace, abundance, success, joy, love, and wholeness.
Those are my true nature. Those are my true potential. To see any other way is to see what’s NOT real, which is therefore seeing illusion … which means it’s nothing. I have no time for nothing anymore, I am WORTH seeing reality, I am WORTH seeing truth, and I am WORTH putting 100% effort into bringing those truths to light.
If I am worth it that means YOU are worth it too. One of us succeeding means that ALL of us have the potential to succeed.
Live up to your true potential! See who you are and then live a life that ALIGNS with that wholeness. You are worth EVERY effort you can give to witness to yourself of your divine potential.
If you are living small because you don’t know who you are, look at the lightest brightest most inspired person you can find, and then recognize that you are also that. You are equal to that with the same potential that that inspired soul has. See only THAT in yourself and you will begin to align with that truth of your divine nature.
You know, I’m not overly tired right now … it’s 7:40 and I’ve been up for 3 hours and the day has JUST begun! I am WORTH the effort. You are worth the effort too … believe it and then go move mountains.