Do you ever have those days that just feel draining? And you don’t see a reason why necessarily, you’re just really tired at the end of the day?
That is my moment tonight. Tired.
I want to be real and authentic here, and so I suppose I have to own exactly what today is for me. I can’t pinpoint what is causing the tired (could be the 7 children maybe) I just know today my energy is low and I have wanted a nap all day.
I didn’t get the nap. In fact I went on a walk thinking it would help. After 5 miles I dragged my tired self to the front door and plopped into bed with my wet workout leggings (it was a rainy WA walk) and just zoned out.
I have no explanation or reason behind my “mood” … just a desire to NOT be in this mood. And I think THAT is my issue. I’m fighting against what is.
I am tired. I am low frequency. I am drained. I am these things tonight. And just last night I was writing about being so full of love it was spilling out, and tonight I am this.
It’s such a stark difference that it makes me annoyed. Shouldn’t I always be able to stay in that happy positive place? Isn’t it possible to be optimistic and cheery and feel love and gratitude ALL of the time?!
Maybe it is? I haven’t experienced that level of positivity yet. It comes and goes for me. I think the MAJORITY of my experience is lovely … but there are days like today. And they are pretty regular.
I am conscious of the “mood” though, and I see it and dislike the fruit that it bears. In fact, when these moments arise, I generally try to focus on lighter things and MUCH of the time that refocusing to love works. It’s a really good way to shift your energy to a higher spot.
But tonight it didn’t work. And I chose to focus on the thing that has been on my mind that isn’t super uplifting. It’s an issue in my life though, so I think looking at it was helpful. And I DID actually learn something tonight through talking it out with the husband.
So maybe these low points are good. Maybe they’re ways to help us realign ourselves in a more healthy way. Maybe they shine light on things we need to address so we can move forward with more clarity.
I know, through experience, that life has ups and downs and it is a journey. It’s a little like a maze. We move through the maze, most of the time not knowing which way to go. So we go this way, and that way, and deal with what comes before us when it’s in our face. And sometimes we turn around and begin again. Sometimes we get frustrated and sit down and refuse to move at all. There are a multitude of ways to go through the maze.
What I’ve learned, is that there is a maze keeper. A guide who sees the whole of the maze and is on the tall tower trying to get us to ask and listen to “his” wisdom and guidance. This maze keeper is perfectly equipped to help us on our journey. This maze keeper is relentless in the guidance that is given. It is a guaranteed direct path to the “exit” if we heed the maze keeper.
Much of our experience we don’t even see the maze keeper, let alone know we’re in a maze. We are so focused, with narrow tunnel vision on the immediate surroundings that we have a hard time looking past this point. If we looked up we would see that the guidance is coming in a clear stream and the way to “listen” is to heed the voice that is within us.
For you it might be a voice, for another it could be a heart feeling, for another thoughts in the mind, for another an intuition in the gut … there is a myriad of ways to be reached … we only need to find OUR way of connecting and then we have a direct line to the maze keeper’s perfect guidance.
I do believe that there are “good” things we will encounter and that there will be “bad” too. The stuff that seems bad can be used to teach us and to propel us toward what IS good for our experience.
I picture a cliff. and there is a LOT of warning before you get there. Many many signs are posted in plain sight telling you to beware of the cliff. But the signs aren’t seen with your eyes … they’re in the internal guidance system within you. So you can be walking toward the cliff and if you’re not paying attention and not listening you will walk right off the cliff without even realizing you were there. It will seem shocking to you, even though you were being guided the whole time.
If you don’t try to listen you won’t hear.
The other option is to pay attention. Listening to the guidance that comes from within. Focusing on the gauge that is saying “this is joy, this is for me!” or “this is fear, I’d better turn around.”
You get to choose how you do it. You can listen or not. You can pay attention or not. You can focus all of your thoughts on what will help you move through the maze with ease, or you can look at the wall in front of you and never move a step. It’s really up to you completely. That is the beauty of this life … the freedom to choose.
Part of choices are the consequences attached to them. So if you don’t heed the warnings of the cliff, then the consequence attached to that is you will fall off the cliff. It’s real, and it’s a set back for sure.
Fortunately it’s not lethal. There is a net to catch you. And you can try again, over and over until you figure it out.
On days like today I like to remember that it’s ok to have an off day. It’s not the end of the world. Even if I fall off the cliff, I will be lovingly placed back where I was to try again. And I can use this feeling of “yuck”, to propel me to a happier more loving place in the morning.
Because the truth is, every day, every MOMENT is a new beginning. There is ALWAYS another chance to begin again, to try harder, to focus on joy, and to heed the maze keeper’s wisdom. Through that beautiful mercy we are able to learn and grow and confront all of the misperception within us until all the days are mostly lovely (those days are coming, I can feel it!).
I believe in the beauty that exists and I am grateful for even the days full of tired. Tired is
ok. It’s life. And feeling the tired helps propel me towards the energy and life that exists in the connection to God and the universe. And so I go to sleep tonight in gratitude for this down spot because it makes me appreciate new beginnings and the opportunity to continually begin again and to follow the joy.
The joy IS there … I have felt it and I know it exists. And so it’s up to me to focus on it and keep it in my experience.
Joy is a gift … one that is SO worth fighting for. CLING to the love and make that your life. Through love you remember that the peace and joy exists and it comes from following your guide. So pay attention.