I love Saturdays. I love that we get to just be together and do things that need to get done and there is no schedule, no dropping off, no picking up, no time anything has to be done. It’s just a free day to use as we desire.
I have a dream board. Have you ever made one of these? It’s just a poster board and on it I’ve put things that I am “working” toward, things that I’m desiring, things I hold in my thoughts as the “vision” for me.
I was thinking about it just the other day and realized that I haven’t achieved ALL that’s on the board in exactly the way I picture it, but I do have ALL that I desire. All of the things on that board ARE represented in my life … today.
I have freedom, I have peace, I love life, I feel joy constantly, I live in a home that is beautiful and that I love, I look out my back windows and see TREES and beautiful nature, I am able to buy all that we need every week without worry … I have EVERYTHING.
Life is beautiful.
Lest you think I’m not a real person … yesterday was not my best day. I had a little melt down in the evening. I just felt overwhelmed with 7 kids and the messes and the never leaving the house status that a stay-at-home mom lives in, and the fact that I’m trying to start a new thing and I have NO time to myself unless it’s after everyone falls asleep … and then I’m giving up MY sleep to have that quiet time ….
I was sort of a mess. And I pretty much felt sorry for myself.
At midnight last night as I was trying to talk it out with my husband, and come to some spot that I could just be ok, and accepting of what IS … I realized something:
The struggle against reality is the thing that takes away the peace.
When I am present and focus on what’s in front of me and not projecting negativity onto what might happen, or not dwelling on what did happen … I have peace.
Peace comes in the acceptance of each moment AS IT IS. Not as I wish it could be and not struggling against it, just accepting that it is, and working with it in the most loving way I can.
I was trying to work yesterday and when I came out into the family room my 2 little ones who don’t go to school had taken 2 little bins full of crayons and dumped them out over the entire family room floor. Literally they were everywhere.
I looked at that mess, and because of my bad mood yesterday I got angry. I yelled at the 4 year old and told her she’d better clean it up and then I walked away sort of cursing the day.
At the end of last night I looked back on that moment and thought how crazy and insane it was to get angry over it. In that moment I was fighting against reality. The reality is that the crayons were dumped out all over the floor. Yelling and fuming over it accomplished nothing except maybe to feed my bad mood.
The more loving response would have been to accept that that had happened, and then just to say “Ok. I see that you spread all of the crayons all over the floor. Let’s pick them up please” and then help them pick them up.
Yelling, getting angry, and being mad over what is does nothing.
I am at peace when I fill my life with love. I am at peace when I lovingly respond to things instead of blowing up and getting angry and stewing. I am at peace when I accept what is and don’t try to change it, instead I work with it and let go of trying to control everything.
I am not perfect … I don’t think perfection exists, and so I have bad days, I have melt downs, I sometimes get mad at my kids for doing things that make more work for me …. I do. These things happen. They’re part of life. I see though, that when they happen, if I use the moment to learn something, to attempt to do it better next time, I FEEL better.
I am certain that I will continue to learn and grow and have those moments that are teachers for me the rest of my life. And I think that’s just the way. But I intend to USE those moments and actually LEARN what I can so I can bring more peace into my life and have less turmoil, less reacting, less negativity.
It all boils down to: I get to choose. I can choose to, next time the kids make a huge mess, respond in a healthier way than I did last time, or not. I get to pick it. And there’s not a judgment against what I choose … but I KNOW that in choosing the growth and the way that I know brings more peace, I will feel better, I will be happier, and I will expand the love in my life.
I prefer that way. I try to choose that way. When I don’t choose that way, like yesterday, I just accept that I had an off day, and then move on. I let it go, and propel myself toward a better tomorrow.
This is the way I have found peace. It is SO present in my life when I am conscious of the fact that I CHOOSE MY ATMOSPHERE. I get to decide, I get to choose, I am the one that makes a good day or a bad day; it is ALL about the way I choose to respond to life.
So today, the day after the “storm,” I am choosing to cling to peace and to respond with as much love for this life that I am experiencing, as I can.
My dream board is pretty accurate today. I have peace, I love life, I enjoy nature, I am connected to the people around me, I know abundance and joy … I have everything today. Not because anything changed from yesterday, but because I SEE what truth is and I SEE that life is what I make of it and I SEE that I choose to focus on what is beautiful and lovely instead of the other.
And as I do this, and I pay attention to the miracles that are everywhere, my joy and love for life expands. And I am fulfilling my purpose. And THAT brings the peace and the freedom and the incredible sense of gratitude that permeates every bit of my being.
Honor this moment, because when you do, whatever the moment holds, you will find that peace comes to you and you are more able to respond to what IS in a loving healthy way. It feels better … at least I prefer it. And so I’m going to keep trying and focusing on this way instead of the other. And I know that I will still have bad days, and that’s ok, I can use them to teach me and to guide me to the love.
The love is the best part of life anyway.