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124 | Well I Didn’t See That Coming

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flexibility

Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

My meditation was interrupted this morning by my 3 year old crying and screaming for me upstairs in his room. I had to do a full stop of what I was doing – what I WANTED to be doing – so I could go take care of him. And then he came into my bed with me after a diaper and a new outfit. I couldn’t really finish what I wanted to do. He snuggled up next to me and seemed happy and content and fell asleep gripping my arm.

I’m writing now, so I did manage to wiggle my way to freedom while he still sleeps, but it totally messed up my morning plan!

I have more examples of this kind of thing happening than I have time to write them all. It is a constant in my life. I think it’s a constant in any mother’s life actually. (of course, I don’t know any other life THAN a mother, so I’m just coming at you from my own perspective)

Here’s what I think about it: it sucks.

It’s true. It’s SO annoying to never fully get to do what you want. I can’t shower unless someone is home to watch the 3 year old. I can’t go anywhere unless I have a babysitter. I can’t meditate fully because someone might wake up. I can’t sit in my office and write if anyone is home and think it’ll be quiet and they WILL come in if I’m in there. Probably many times.

Pretty much my life revolves around making sure everyone else is taken care of and their needs are met FIRST, and then I get what’s left over.

There have been a few occasions that I’ve done things for myself, but logistics make those times challenging to plan and tricky to pull off.

By now you’re probably saying, “but you chose to have kids.” I DID! Yes! I did choose to have these beautiful children. And I ADORE them!! Truly do. It is my greatest joy to be a mother.

As you can see, it’s a paradox.

There are days that this is not a big deal at all to me. In fact, I think the majority of the time I’m ok with the way things are. I don’t mind being interrupted constantly. I don’t mind being asked 100s of questions a day. I don’t mind not showering until I can get all the ducks in a row. I’m used to it and it’s ok.

And then there are days that it sucks. I wish I could have 30 minutes truly to myself to shower as long as I want without knowing that people are out there waiting for me to get out. I would love to go to the bathroom and not have a little person follow me in there to hang out with me while I go. I think it might be nice occasionally to get to meditate freely without worry that someone will come in and disrupt my “mojo.”

So yeah, it’s a paradox. One that will not be “resolved” or fixed or changed. It is what it is. (we say that a lot in this house … it is what it is.)

Fortunately, I love my family. So taking care of them makes me happy.

Thankfully, my kids are awesome. So being interrupted by them isn’t so terrible.

Luckily, I’m a quick eater and my hair doesn’t need to be washed everyday, and I’m good with going with the flow so if I’m interrupted doing something I can just go with it. I have learned to be FLEXIBLE!

I think flexibility in life is a key to happiness. When you’re flexible you’re able to shift into what IS even if it isn’t what you wanted it to be.

Like this morning, when my son started crying and screaming for me WHILE I was quietly meditating in my bedroom, I rolled my eyes for a few seconds and thought, “well that figures.” And then I just walked upstairs, grabbed him, talked to him, and shifted my focus from what I was doing to this new task.

I wouldn’t have PLANNED this shift. I really did want to finish my meditation. But this couldn’t be helped. He woke up. He got scared. He cried. He wouldn’t have stopped without me helping him and so I took care of that need.

Nothing good would come from me being angry about it. Nothing positive would come if I was frustrated and annoyed and short with him and bothered that he interrupted me. Those things wouldn’t have helped. And so I did the only thing I could, I loved him. I served him. And I understood my meditation for the day was over. And that is ok.

Things WILL happen in life that are not planned, not desired, mess up our mojo, screw up our schedules, and just throw us off. These things will be. They are part of life. We can either accept them and move forward into the “new” track we’ve been put on, or we can throw a fit and fight it. Either way you’re on the new track. Might as well start moving forward on it with peace and ease.

You don’t HAVE to. You can fight it. You can resist what is. You can stomp your feet and rage against the new track life has brought into your experience. You CAN. But why would you want to?

The moment you’re shifted into a “new” track of life you have an opportunity to choose to accept it and make the best of it, moving forward into it with ease and grace, OR you can resist and fight against it and delay the peace. Either way you’re going that way now, it is what is. So the choice is truly yours.

Which do you prefer? The peace or the pain of resistance? That’s the only thing you have to decide.

When new things come that are unexpected and sometimes even undesirable, you can fight them, but most often you can’t change that they’re there.

I can’t control the weather this weekend for our weekend away. I’m bummed that it’ll be less awesome to hike in the rain.

I can’t make my son NOT scream when I’m meditating … if he’s screaming I need to help him.

I can’t control getting a flat tire. I can’t make my kids always be perfectly ready and on time when I want them to. I can’t make people always respond the way I would choose. I don’t have the power to make every circumstance be what I want it to be.

But …

I can choose to be flexible and go with what comes and respond in a way that brings me to moving forward more quickly. I do have that power.

And so instead of resisting the things that happen that are unplanned, I ASSIST my moving forward by being flexible and understanding that things will come and things will go and things will go smoothly and things won’t and life is about taking what comes and making the best of it.

Today that looks like planning for a weekend away with rain. And I will pack my rain coat and boots and maybe an extra change of clothes and plan on getting wet. And I will look at the movie times and maybe we’ll see a movie instead. And I am grateful I got those 10 minutes to meditate this morning, and so what that I didn’t get as long as I wanted? Will it matter to me in a week or in a year? Nope. So it doesn’t matter now.

I am looking forward. I am on the “track” that is before me and if that track takes a turn I didn’t plan I’m going to keep moving forward! And it will be awesome because I’ll learn things I didn’t expect to learn and learning is always a good thing.

honorthismoment – #100somethings – 14/100 (2 weeks!!)

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