So, today, just live. Whatever is in your current awareness, look at it, really see it, hear it, taste it, embrace it, and EXPERIENCE it to the fullest. THAT is what life is about.
Today, more than ever, my desire is to just be a little brighter than before. Maybe that light can boost another. That is my hope anyway.
Here's what's cool: I am more than this body. I am greater and bigger and grander than my physical appearance would suggest. I am (the energy of my soul is) MUCH older than 39 years old too. That is a tiny number when you're ageless and timeless. I understand that who I am doesn't bear too much resemblance to this 39 year old body and so worrying about this body "aging" ?? Not so much.
Something cool happens when you're fully present ... time goes away. It's almost as if there is a time warp and nothing else matters - there's only that one moment. Continually just the present.
And so when things arise that are not planned, I look at them and maybe roll my eyes, maybe mutter under my breath that "isn't this just dandy" and then I face the new track head on. Because the other choice is to resist what is, and that's insanity. It is there. I can't change that it is. Might as well live with it and have peace too.
There is something in each of us that is MEANT for us. Your only job is to find it and embrace it. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. Do what you LOVE. When you do, your "job" won't be a job at all, instead it will be a gift you offer the world.
What a gift to learn something like this in a moment of frustration. It opened my eyes and my heart and opened his heart as well. When we were soft and open we were BOTH teachable and connected and it felt amazing.
Who you are, who you wish to be, what you admire in others ... these can all be the same! Just focus on those attributes which you think are beautiful, strong, and desirable, and then embrace them in your life. Cultivate them if you don't believe you currently have them. Look at the qualities in others and look for ways to integrate them into your own experience. You can be who you want to be. You can claim ANY beautiful qualities that you desire if you want to. Just choose who you want to be and then go for it. Become that person.
If you don't be the FIRST person to take care of yourself, who will do it for you? - You know when you're able to give and serve and you know when you need help or you need sleep or you're hungry or you're sad or whatever ... you know you best. Be your own protector. Be your own flame fanner. Be your own light giver. Be aware of the atmosphere within you so that when you're low you can pause and when you're bright you can move forward in inspiration.
Just choose. Choose what you want, set your desire, make your intention, and then do it. Make it happen. Aim for the target with purpose. It will be easier and easier as you keep moving toward that target. If it's a long term goal, keep moving forward. If it's a little "clean house" goal, keep moving forward. No matter the target, keep moving forward.
And do you know what I've learned because of seeing this pattern? It doesn't matter WHAT is happening outside of me, the peace and love for life and joy I embrace is mine no matter what comes. My soul determines how I respond to the life experiences that come. My thoughts are my choice.
*sigh* Ridiculous is the word that comes to mind. And unnecessary. And maddening. --- I need more yoga when I think about this. (serenity now!)