And that is the point I guess ... my heart is full. And because I know that is possible in every circumstance, I understand that yours can be too in whatever you're doing. You have the power to see your life in whatever perspective you choose.
The worth of a soul is not defined and counted among the "worthy" by anything that you see here in this place we call earth. The worth of a soul is not FROM here and therefore cannot be defined in earthly terms ... it is unchangeable, it is infinite, it is perfectly wholly worthy at all times, in all things, and in all places. No. Matter. What.
Every moment we have a choice to drop everything and fill the needs of those around us. Sometimes we aren't able to do that, and that's ok. Those times though that we are? We should do it. We should literally drop what we had in mind, like eating breakfast and writing a blog post, and drive to the park because the kids wanted and needed it. We can look at the world around us and say to ourselves, "is there a need I am able to fill?" and then fill the need when we're able. Doing this brings a joy to life that is unmatched and not attained in any other way.
Will she or even I get it "right" all of the time and never look at the negative? No. We're human. We will not be perfect, but we don't have to be perfect. We just have to be trying today to be better, to look higher, to see the love instead of the hate, and to focus on all that fills us with light instead of dwelling on the garbage. In trying each day to be a little more positive than the day before, a little kinder, a little gentler, a little more loving, a little more thoughtful we are doing what we can.
I am defined by my energy and that is determined within me. I am defined by how I treat people and what I DO not what I look like. I am defined by the influence I have in the lives of those around me and not by what others see briefly as they get a limited glimpse of my life. The definition of ME is determined by MY OWN perception and that perception is shaped and fashioned after my TRUE nature ... I know that I am divine. I know that I am beautiful. I know that I am valuable. I know that I am happy. I know that I know peace. All else matters not. I know God, I have connected to that space within, and we're good so it's all good.
Each thing I've encountered in my life has taught me and shaped me into the person I am today. Each experience has lifted me higher ... some because the joy that was brought was more than I'd previously known (motherhood is a good example of that ... joyful expansion) and some, because of the depth of pain I experienced and worked through which challenged me to grow (my parent's divorce is a good example of that ... it brought me to a place of extension ... I had to learn from it and grow or I would be swallowed up in it). All things can be for our benefit if we see with those eyes. There is something to learn in every experience.
I think there is something truly important about joy and excited anticipation and love for life and a desire to expand and learn and grow and the willingness to try new things and fall, over and over and over again with the intention to keep getting up no matter what. I think looking at the world through "childlike" eyes is essential ... looking for the NEXT thing that will bring that awe and wonder ... anticipating it arriving at ANY moment, just knowing there's magic around the corner and waiting patiently for it to come, being brave enough to let go of any worry and fear and just being open to ANYTHING, any new experience that might expand our horizon and our knowledge.
I noticed something as we sat ... with my eyes closed and the sun coming up, the lightness grew brighter and brighter and the warmth grew warmer and warmer on my skin ... ever so slightly, little by little. It wasn't a "sun up - BAM - BRIGHT and HOT" it was a gradual lightening and a gradual warming. At first the sun was only touching my face on the right side. Pretty soon it was warm enough and light enough to touch my face, my shoulder, my arm, and my leg, my foot. Within the hour we sat there, the whole yard was lit up, the whole right side of my body was fully warm from the sun, and we were turning our heads away from the brightness because it was so piercing.
I was in a serious funk last night. And I couldn't pin point why I was, I just knew I was, knew I didn't want to be, and was frustrated with myself for being in the funk. No matter what I did, the funk continued and that frustrated me even more. When it was bedtime I was SO done with the day. I was sincerely needing the kids to just go to bed and I wanted to go to bed and get the "new day" moment in the morning. This day was a bust.
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